A Shocking article in the daily newspaper: “Father charged in attacks on baby girl.” She is five months old and now in a local hospital recovering from head and internal injuries. He allegedly hit her and pressed down on her abdomen causing internal injuries including a broken rib. Authorities say this was not an isolated incident of uncontrolled anger but had actually occurred over two separate periods of time.
Sadly, there is hardly a week that goes by without a report of a parent or a significant other friend abusing a child in some way and all too often even causing their death from severe shaking, battering or suffocation.
How can infants and innocent young children be so violated? The infant was merely doing what infants do when they are in need. Was the child hungry... ill... suffering with colic... or in bad need of a diaper change? Maybe the need of a diaper change was aggravated by a severe case of diaper rash?
So the baby cried incessantly. What a terrible annoyance to a father who helped bring this child into this world! When his day is interrupted by a helpless infant that is dependent on him to care for its needs he becomes uncontrollably angry
Why does this father become enraged to the extent that he reacts with such destructive anger? What experiences and forces have impacted his life conditioning him to be a human pressure cooker, ready to explode when irritated by a tiny defenseless infant? His behavior indicates that he himself has been deeply wounded and now chooses to lash out in anger when frustrated rather than seeking cleansing and healing for the wounds that contribute to his inhumane behavior.
This father is now facing two serious assault charges that could that could lead to his receiving a long-term sentence, possibly even life. Another mother will be trying to raise her two children by herself. The climate has been created for the further wounding of children which could lead them to become the next generation of offenders.
A Gallup poll revealed that father absence is the number one social problem in America. More than 24 million children live in homes without their biological fathers. Nearly 40% have not seen their fathers in one year. One researcher observed, “Father absence is another form of child abuse.” This abuse occurs both because of his being physically absent and because, when present, he fails to provide for the basic life needs of his children by being uninvolved and emotionally distant. Will the wounding ever stop?
We cannot live in this world without getting hurt. It is said of Victor Frankle, noted therapist and author who was a Jew taken to a concentration camp during the second world war, that he declared to himself, “They can take everything else away from me but there is one thing they cannot take away: How I choose to respond to what they do to me.” There is much injustice and innocent suffering in this world. We all get wounded in one way or another. Some are wounded more severely than others. This is especially true when the wounding is done by our parents.
Has your wounding resulted in a low threshold for frustration and your being easily provoked to outbursts of anger and possibly rage? For your sake and for the sake of your children and their mother, take responsibility for dealing with your problem and seek the help you need to deal with the underlying causes of your destructive behavior.
Our children are worth our best effort to be loving, caring parents. You deserve the blessing of rearing your children in such a way that when they become adults they have love and respect in their hearts for you.
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